|| Ice Cube, Martin Henderson, Jay Hernandez, Monet Mazur, Wil Yun
Lee, Adam Scott, Jaime Pressley, Christina Milian, and Freddo Star
Torque is essentially an eighty-minute music video
with ten minutes of preposterous video game CGI. I could have
sworn I was watching a cartoon in the climactic chase sequence.
Before I go any further, let me readily admit that this film is
targeted to a very specific demographic. I’m talking
about the video game playing, Mountain Dew chugging, X-Game watching
world of thirteen to eighteen year old horny teenage boys.
If you’re outside of that age group or have none of the aforementioned
interests, then Torque is not the film for you. It’s
a pure piece of fluff eye candy that will leave you mind boggled
by the overuse of computer animation. I remember all the bitching
and whining about the Burly Brawl scene from Matrix Reloaded.
That’s the part where Neo fights the hundred Smiths if you
have no idea what I’m talking about. Everyone complained
that it looked too fake. I stood up for that scene because
I totally bought into what they were trying to achieve. I
don’t have the same sentiment at all for Torque. The
use of CGI in this movie is absolutely criminal.
Martin Henderson stars as hotshot biker Cary Ford. He flew
the coup to avoid being nailed for drug charges and has returned
home to settle the score. It turns out that local drug lord
and bad guy gang leader, Henry James (Matt Schulze), left him with
two bikes loaded with crystal meth. Now Ford wants to make
up with his girlfriend Shane (Monet Mazur), clear his name, and
wear t-shirts tight enough to be the envy of all gay men.
Did I mention Ice Cube? He plays Trey; the leader of another
biker gang called the Inglewood Reapers. He thinks that Ford
killed his brother and wants to turn him into a grease spot.
So the whole crux of the story is Ford and his crew riding through
the desert to clear his name in LA. Followed by Trey and the
Reapers, Henry James and his gang, and two Feds that provide some
desperately needed comic relief.
Torque is a film that requires you to leave all common sense behind
and willingly subjugate yourself to the ridiculous. I walked
into this movie looking for some hardcore motorcycle action scenes.
The film starts to deliver them, but then ruins it utterly with
wacky computer FX. There is only one non-CGI bike scene and
it’s by far the most entertaining. The Reapers chase
Ford and crew through a bunch of Palm trees. That scene kicks
serious ass and is a definite crowd pleaser. I can’t
for the life of me figure out why they didn’t concentrate
on more real life action. All the gear heads that flock to
this movie are going to be disappointed with the cartoon-like chases.
So what’s the upshot to this film, the eye candy, pure and
simple. Every girl is a babe and scantily clad, showing just
enough to keep that all-important PG-13 rating. Monet Mazur
is en fuego, but Jaime Pressly steals the show. She plays
China, the punk rock, goth-slut biker girlfriend of Henry James.
Jaime is smoking in her own right, but really had my engines purring
with the new look. The spider tattoos, piercings, dyed hair,
tight leather clothes, oh I can dig it. Here’s the best
part; she spends half of her screen time licking her lips like a
thirsty pornstar. If only this were an R rated film.
My compadres from this website and another one had better reactions
to the film. They weren’t fans of the CGI, but liked
the action scenes much more than me. They say that this film
blows Biker Boyz out of the water. I never saw that movie,
but find that hard to believe. Here’s a quick shout
out to Matt Schulze (Henry James). Between Torque, The Transporter,
and Blade 2, Schulze is fastly becoming Hollywood’s generic
snarling bad guy. He’s got this trademark look that
could either mean he wants to kill you or bend you over for a jailhouse
shanking. I’m not sure what he’s going for, but
it’s keeping him in steady employment.