Sacha Baron Cohen talks The Dictator

Sacha Baron Cohen Is ‘The Dictator’
By Max Evry

May 15, 2012

“Good afternoon. Welcome devils of the Zionist media and death to the West! Today I wish to highlight the plight of a terribly endangered group, the innocent victims of a global human tragedy, dictators. These brave leaders are suffering a daily victimization and brutality for the supposed crimes of embezzling money, oppressing their people and doing a tiny bit of genocide.”

That was how Sacha Baron Cohen of “Borat” fame introduced himself to a crowd of about 200 journalists for a canned press conference at the Waldorf Astoria in New York. He was in the guise of Admiral General Shabazz Aladeen, the clueless tyrant he plays in his latest hilarious comedy, “The Dictator.”

Flanked by sexy female guards armed with machine guns and clueless supporters waving placards reading “Say No to Democracy,” “I Heart Dictatorships,” and “Give Oppression a Chance.” The fictional head of the fictional Republic of Wadiya took pre-screened questions from Blackfilm.com and the media and read his answers off a teleprompter.

How do you respond to accusations that you are the world’s most wise and glorious leader?

THE DICTATOR: You’ve got me, I have no response. Thank you for that fair and unbiased question.

What do you think of the American film industry and how is it different from what you have at home?

THE DICTATOR: I love American films, particularly their fantasy films like “Lord of the Rings” or “Schindler’s List.” What? Me and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad both studied at the same holocaust denial institute. The head of it is Mel Gibson. I am also a fan of “Sherlock Holmes.” There’s always a great twist at the end where they solve the case, I never see that coming. But my favorite film ever is from 1963 and features JFK in Dallas. There are differences between the Wadiyan film industry and Hollywood. People say I am extravagant for using 20 trillion bottles of Fiji Water every day to make snow for my ski resort in the middle of the desert, but am I the person who greenlit “John Carter”?

What are your pop culture guilty pleasures?

THE DICTATOR: When I am not watching my people I am glued to my couch watching the satellite television. My favorite shows are Wadiyan. We have our version of “Two and a Half Men,” it used to be called “Three Men,” but one of them tried to steal a grapefruit. Also I love the TV program “24,” you have it here? But we play it backwards so it has a happy ending.

So General, is it true or just a rumor that you’ve been banned from British TV?

THE DICTATOR: Oh yes, it is true. The BBC has issued sanctions against me. They have banned me from all the BBC channels and also the BBC radio. It’s true. Look, nobody is a a bigger fan of state sponsored (stumbles on the words), sorry I have something in my mouth, don’t worry it’s not what you’re thinking — look, nobody is a bigger fan of the state sponsored censorship than me, but the BBC took it too far. All I wanted to do on the BBC was use their airwaves to promote my anti-West, anti-Zionist platform and to quell those nasty rumors about the Holocaust. I guess no good deed goes unpunished. I guess that joke does not go down that well in New York.

Which U.S. presidential candidate would you like to endorse?

THE DICTATOR: I would say Santorum, despite his liberal views, but since he’s out of the running I give my full support to Mitchell Romney. He has the makings of a great dictator. He is incredibly wealthy, but pays no taxes, and it’s not much of a leap to go from firing people to firing squads, and from putting pets on top of the car to putting political dissidents on the top of them. He taught me how to do that.

Who have been your favorite celebrity conquest?

THE DICTATOR: I have made beautiful love and also sex activity with many of your celebrities, Britney Spears, Beyonce, and Kim Kardashian. She is a very nice girl but unbelievably hairy. When I pulled her panties down I thought I was looking in the mirror.

Why did you dump the ashes on Ryan Seacrest?

THE DICTATOR: Ryan Seacrest. Well, it’s not the first time that he has had an Asian man poured all over his chest. But the reality is, you know, I was showing him that it was from South Korea, the urn it was made from South Korea, I lift it up, and then it accidentally fall on him. But you know, they were not his ashes. His son, Kim Jong-un, he is so fat he looks like he swallowed his father. And that is because he actually did, you know, so it was the remains of the barbecue.

“The Dictator” opens everywhere this Wednesday, May 16.